Lines and shadows

Some days are just not worth it. Not a moment of it... or so it seems at the first glance.

I am still happy to go into my bathtub now with some great bathing stuff smelling of wild roses and with a little bit of girly sparkles. I bought one but being at home it was not enough so I made some stuff by myself. It's a lot easier than most people think if you have the right ingredients at home. Some of them will be not really cheap but they'll last forever! And after the bath: Just go to bed! Cuddling with my cats, reading a little bit and then just falling asleep... and forget about the day.

On the good side there are the people who will be at your side at a day like this. Giving you some reassurance, helping out of the black hole, drink some champagne with you...

...or tell everyone that their earrings were made by me! ^^

But still... such days drains out every little bit of energy which I have.. and for which I had to fight for over the last days, weeks, months... just emotions but harder than any exercise... so the mind is sleepy but the body is wide awake. In some old evolutionary ways waiting for the attack to come which made the body so nervous.

In this "in between time" I crave to create things. A quote of me is that crafting or better creating keeps me sane. A lot of people smile or laughs when I say this and most of them never realize that I don't mean this in some figurative sense but just the way I said it.

It is like breathing very deep and hard, like getting this nervous energy of the body and the drained moments of the brain in a line. Both together are able to create and not only craft. Although the line between stuff and art is a very thin line and at least in my simple opinion also a very subjective line in a lot of aspects, if I am in a state like this I cross this line at least for myself.

I don't think about what I am making. It is more like looking at something which is already there and creates itself. Sounds strange? Try to image how it is to see and feel the creature which comes out of the broken and rough rubber-like material while you are carving.

They are just shadows, some lines, they are rough and cut within the quadrate... but they have life. They look at me, straight, quiet, watching, and in their own way they are a essential part of me.

I am not sure whether I like them. But I do love them.