Abstract letters earrings - and no time to breath...

This is my favorite pair of earrings at the moment. I used fimo effect as polymer clay, ice quartz, which is a light blue, mixed with transparent and shimmer. One of the new colour effects from fimo. Actually it is strange because you can't see the real colour due to the black acrylic paint (Reeves) I used to enhance the stamped letters and the inka gold in green-gold from viva. But still I didn't cover the whole polymer clay bead so it is shimmering through and the underground always changes the effect of the colours on top. 

For you who know me and especially my cats...

I brought Grusel ashes home with me last saturday. But I still can't really cry because now my third and last little one is ill. He has chronic kidney failure and now it is all about fighting for his life. Not a good year. Not at all. Sometimes I can't breath due to panic and pain. Nothing compared to my poor little one. He is still curious and want attention and cuddling. But he lost weight, he has some blood in his left eye and problems with his back legs, leg weakness. We went to his doctor at monday morning and are there now every morning so Bisu can get his infusion. He feels better afterwards, eats a tiny little bit (even one of the pills) and follows me at every step. He really tries to come with me when I am finally leaving for work. 

He has to survive now this crisis. Of course, CNI is CNI (or CRF in english, CNI is the german abbrevation). No cure, a chronic disease. But there is the chance that this is not the end right now. That we can get some time for him, good time. 

But the chance that he will get 20 (he is 12 now) are not so high anymore... I always told all my cats, all my three little ones, my lil' black devils, that they have to reach 20 years... or that they even should not die at all! Now I lost Dean and Grusel in the last three months. I am breaking down at the thought that I will also lose Bisu and maybe even very soon. Just shattering inside. 

That is the last feeling and reaction I should have. Animals are very sensitive and cats like dogs are reacting to their humans. If I am panicking, Bisu will also be afraid. Simple as that. Hard as that.

We spend the last two hours on the balcony, sitting at the floor together, cuddling (but just short, he don't want to be touched to often, he just wants to be very close). He is still curious, he comes when I call, he drinks and eats (just should eat more)... 

...he is also still searching for his brother or brothers... smelling them, going from room to room...

...I don't want to lose him too. I love him so much. I love them all.